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Friday, 30 August 2019

BE AFRAID: BMW UNVEIL THE WORLD'S BLACKEST CAR

Claiming that this is merely a stunt for publicity purposes shouldn't fool you - you can be sure that cars coated in Vantablack will soon be requisitioned en masse by oppressive regimes and police forces, and perhaps even criminals and terrorists.

The paint is so dark and non-reflective that you can't tell whether you are looking at a solid shape or a void - only the presence of its lights and grille give away its shape and orientation; It will be idea for stealth purposes.

The manufacturers claim that commercially available vehicles will never be coated in Vantablack ( regular black is statistically the most accident-prone colour ), and that the pigment will instead be used in vehicle interiors, where non-reflective surfaces will help to make the instrumentation easier to read.



At Future-Rocker, we predict Vantablack will be applied to coats, jackets, military camouflage, kinky underwear ( very slimming ), shoes, James Hetfield's guitar collection, and indeed, the 30th anniversary special edition of Metallica's Black Album ( see below ).

NONE MORE BLACK: 
SCROLL DOWN TO SEE ARTIST'S IMPRESSION OF METALLICA'S BLACK ALBUM
RENDERED IN VANTABLACK

Before: The classic album's original grey-on-black cover art 





After: 'Exit Light', indeed - where the hell did it go?
The album cover printed with Vantablack.